|
Jokes
Mar 28, 2019 14:48:37 GMT
Post by Grant on Mar 28, 2019 14:48:37 GMT
I love it when Americans tell you that sarcasm doesn't work if it's not funny. Loads tell me that. Stupid cunts.
|
|
|
Jokes
Mar 28, 2019 14:56:28 GMT
Post by Quntolé 🐎🚃 on Mar 28, 2019 14:56:28 GMT
They were born without sarcasm detection. When he realises he's detected I'm being sarcastic he's properly happy with himself. The cunt still sent me to Perth for 4 months though.
|
|
|
Jokes
Jun 6, 2019 13:27:52 GMT
Post by Grant on Jun 6, 2019 13:27:52 GMT
Doctor: I'm afraid we've had to remove your colon.
Patient Why?
|
|
|
Jokes
Jul 2, 2019 10:14:19 GMT
Post by dubman on Jul 2, 2019 10:14:19 GMT
|
|
|
Jokes
Jul 2, 2019 12:49:57 GMT
via mobile
Post by millsy on Jul 2, 2019 12:49:57 GMT
went to my first Fight Club last night - missed the very beginning however I enjoyed it immensely and would recommend it to everyone Lol! Love it
|
|
|
Jokes
Aug 24, 2019 7:51:23 GMT
via mobile
Post by joeyp on Aug 24, 2019 7:51:23 GMT
A mans wife is in for surgery. The doctor comes out and tells the man that there is good news and bad news.
What’s the bad news asks the man?
The bad news is that we had to remove part of her brain. She basically can’t move, can’t talk and is a cabbage. She’s struggling to open her eyes and she looks very retarded. Your going to have to quit work, spoon feed her, massage her every 2 hours so her pain is relived only slightly. It’s also going to cost you a fortune. This so very expensive treatment for the rest of her life.
Oh no says that man. What’s the good news?
The good news says the doctor is I’m joking, she’s dead.
|
|
|
Post by Grant on Aug 24, 2019 8:06:21 GMT
LOL.
There’s a similar one about a wife giving birth and the doctor comes out and says he’s got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is the baby’s been born ginger, the good news is it’s stillborn.
Doesn’t often go down that well with ladies that one.
|
|
|
Jokes
Aug 24, 2019 8:20:06 GMT
via mobile
Post by joeyp on Aug 24, 2019 8:20:06 GMT
LOL. There’s a similar one about a wife giving birth and the doctor comes out and says he’s got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is the baby’s been born ginger, the good news is it’s stillborn. Doesn’t often go down that well with ladies that one. Haha
|
|
Blain
Full Member
Posts: 130 Likes: 32
|
Jokes
Sept 12, 2019 9:47:44 GMT
via mobile
Post by Blain on Sept 12, 2019 9:47:44 GMT
Why shouldn't you wear Russian y-fronts?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
|
|
|
Jokes
Sept 12, 2019 20:37:44 GMT
Post by monostereo on Sept 12, 2019 20:37:44 GMT
Simon Cowell's new face. Fucking hell lads.
|
|
|
Jokes
Sept 12, 2019 20:57:02 GMT
via mobile
Post by Mad Cyril 😷 on Sept 12, 2019 20:57:02 GMT
Fucking Lollopozoola. Laughing that much it hurts
Prob not what he had in mind when he asked the surgeon to make him look 'special'
|
|
|
Jokes
Sept 12, 2019 21:02:29 GMT
Post by thebigvictor on Sept 12, 2019 21:02:29 GMT
Lol "Good morning, Dr Nick. I was thinking I'd like to look like I was constantly taking part in G-Force training for the soyuz lunar module, please."
|
|
|
Jokes
Sept 12, 2019 21:06:01 GMT
Post by philmcrackin on Sept 12, 2019 21:06:01 GMT
Christ. I can only assume he had his face ripped off by a chimp and this is some sort of reconstruction attempt.
|
|
|
Jokes
Sept 13, 2019 6:49:45 GMT
via mobile
Post by Steely on Sept 13, 2019 6:49:45 GMT
Oldie..
An English man is driving down a motorway with a van full of monkeys for the Zoo, half way there the van breaks down but coming behind him is a Irish man called Paddy in an empty van. The English man flags him down.
"Here's 50 quid, bring these monkeys down to the zoo for me." the English man asks Paddy.
"No bother at all" says Paddy and loads up the monkeys.
The English man is stuck on the side of the mother way waiting for AA when he spots Paddy driving down the other side with the van still full of the monkey
"For fuck sake Paddy, I gave you 50 quid to take them up to the zoo!"
"I did!" says Paddy "But I've a few quid left over now so I'm bringing them to the cinema!"
|
|
|
Jokes
Sept 13, 2019 7:17:15 GMT
Post by Smallman1 on Sept 13, 2019 7:17:15 GMT
A quarter of a lol for that SD.
|
|